What You Resist, Persists: Working With Aversion

A confession: the theme of this month’s newest talk resulted in large part due to a difficult experience I had in the recovery room of the hospital, following a surgery I had in late June. 

In fact, my resistance was so fierce, so un-wielding, and so persistent, that it surprised me. It was an intensely powerful sense of just. NO – of not wanting, not accepting — on any level — what was actually happening. 

Sadly, this aversion was aimed directly at my own body, and what was happening within it – which was a strong sense of “unpleasant.” 

And of course, as the Buddha tells us, this quality of not-wanting – or, not accepting what’s happening, not accepting the reality of the moment, which might be unpleasant – is one of the main ways that we create suffering (or dukkha) … not only for ourselves, but also for others. 

In the Pali language, the spoken language of the Buddha’s time, this quality of resistance or aversion to what IS is called dosa. 

And because this dosa tends to cause so much unnecessary pain and stress in our lives, the teachings urge us to use mindfulness practice to get to really KNOW our dosa, at all levels – from the most minor ways that we resist to the most troubling, and destructive. 

This month’s new talk, “What You Resist, Persists: Working With Aversion,” explores all the many ways that we can start to notice when we’re in some way resisting, and start to let BE, instead of being so aversive to other people, life itself, and of course, ourselves.

It includes a 10-minute meditation on dosa at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve. 

P.S. Please take a look at our newest retreat center in Romney, WV! I was finally able to obtain a few new photos of this beautiful residential campus, which includes 1,400 acres of forest, mountain streams, and miles of hiking trails. 

I’m really excited about being there this Oct. 5-9, when I’ll be offering a 5-day retreat on nurturing the heart practices, “LOVING YOURSELF (*update: it’s now more than 3/4 full.) 

I’ll also be offering another 5-day retreat there March 14-18,  KEEP CALMLY KNOWING CHANGE: Embodying the 3 Truths. 

I hope you might join me! 

With joy and kind wishes, ~ Shell

A Quick Short Story, and Some News

🌼 A quick short story: On June 23, I went into the hospital for a 4-hour post-cancer follow-up surgery.

A week later, after happily getting the thumbs up from my surgeon, my husband took me to the library so I could pick out some “recovery reading.” 

He dropped me off at the front entrance, and as I sat on a bench, waiting, I watched a 5-year-old with tears in his eyes being soothed by his mother. 

After a few minutes, the boy walked beneath a giant magnolia tree I hadn’t noticed until then, reached into the fallen leaves, and picked up one of the seed pods like a rattle. 

Still curious, he pointed up at one of the huge blooms, and his mother lifted him high so he could take a closer look, and smell it. And when he did, he smiled. 

After they walked away, I went to the tree myself, and found a big bloom within reaching distance. To me, it looked like a woman wearing a red necklace, with many different arms, dancing (*see photo). 

She’s getting old, I thought, and will soon lose all her petals … but right now, she’s still dancing, still offering out what she can, and hopefully, will leave something behind that can be held, something that can help soothe the heart. 

As I leaned down to inhale the unique sweetness of magnolia, I was reminded of two things: 

The first – my own deep vow: to offer out whatever I can that might help soothe the hearts of others. 

The second – the truth that I, too, need something to hold onto.

According to the Buddha’s teachings, this is really the essence of what the heart practices are aimed at showing us: how to become that bloom – one that can offer out its peaceful, compassionate qualities to both self, and others, equally, without discrimination, just as the scent of a flower can be enjoyed by all.

On October 5-9 this year, I’ll be offering a 5-day retreat on nurturing the heart practices, “LOVING YOURSELF,” in Romney, WV. I hope you might join me! (Update: it’s now more than half full …)

In the meantime, in an effort to offer myself my own compassion, I’m forgoing the dharma talk this month so that I can focus a little more on my recovery. I so appreciate your understanding … please look for a new talk soon! 

With joy and kind wishes, ~ Shell

Buddha and flowers

Is Meditation Selfish? Advice from the Acrobat Sutta

“You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” 

The above idiom is one I confess I need to reflect upon often, to remind myself of its truth, and also its sound advice … and, I know I’m not alone.

During a recent 5-day retreat I led in Maryland over Memorial Day Weekend, I found myself repeating this same phrase over and over during private meetings with students.

This is because, regardless of our own personal circumstances, it seems the vast majority of us tend to grapple with what is considered an ancient human torment: the challenge of trying to balance a need for self-care, along with a strong sense of feeling responsible for helping others, or the world in general – a particular push and pull that can often be so painful. 

Happily, for us, the Buddha was also aware of this struggle 2600 years ago, and offered us some very sage advice about how to work with it, in many different ways. 

For June’s talk, “Is Meditation Selfish?” I thought I’d explore just one of his teachings on this, The Bamboo Acrobat Sutta, which is truly one of my most favorite of his sermons.

I dearly love it, because it not only contains incredibly rich and transformational advice for how we can conduct ourselves in this world – especially in relationship – but because it also shows us how we can find a more harmonious and peaceful balance between what can often feel like two conflicting needs. 

As always, I hope that it will serve.

FYI: Spots have been filling quickly for the next 5-day residential retreat, “LOVING YOURSELF: Nurturing the Heart Practices,” in Romney, VA. (It’s about 1/2 full!) 

In the meantime, I hope you might join me in practice soon!

With joy and kind wishes, ~ Shell

July 6-10, 2024, 5-Day Meditation Retreat – THIS IS IT: The Four Foundations of Mindfulness

For thousands of years, the famous Satipatthana Sutra has been used as a powerful and profound spiritual road map. Contained within it are the rich teachings on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, which the Buddha himself called the “direct path to enlightenment.”

In essence, this sutra is the very basis and ground of our entire practice, and diving deep into its teachings is exactly what can lead us out of suffering, and into more freedom, joy, and ease in our lives.

During this 5-day silent meditation retreat, we’ll be exploring each of these four in more depth by spending a full day on each – contemplating the body, feelings, mind states, and dharmas.

Our time together will include daily dharma talks, guided meditation, silent meditation, walking meditation, and q&a sessions about these transformative practices.

Some meditation experience might be helpful, but the practice and its teachings is applicable to all, and all are welcome.

In order to nurture a sense of stillness and deep listening, we have secured exclusive use of the full retreat center, and silence will be maintained throughout the retreat as we experience a variety of dharma talks, silent and guided meditations, and walking meditation on the beautiful grounds.

LEARN MORE HERE