An essential aspect of our meditation practice involves training ourselves to consciously and compassionately navigate the truth of constant change, instead of allowing ourselves to become so un-consciously distracted by the swirl of it that we end up missing out on the lives we’re actually living.

However, there are certain times where we might actually need some sort of conscious, intentional distraction from our busy minds, and our aching hearts – a kind of beneficial interference that might help us re-establish a sense of safety, and groundedness when we’ve lost touch with these qualities.

Because when something appears in our lives that kind of topples it in some way, or maybe creates a substantial or even life-changing shift – that change can often feel like it’s just too much for us to really sit with, or be with for a while.

So, instead of going all in, and trying to sit down for 30 minutes or more and practice really opening ourselves up to everything we’re feeling, we might instead choose to allow ourselves a healthy distraction from our thoughts in a way that doesn’t necessarily take us away from the present moment, but allows us to be in the moment in a way that feels more loving, gentle, and kind.

So, for this month’s talk, “TRY SOFTER: Working With Change & Grief,” I thought I’d explore how we can use our mindfulness practice to discover more compassion, presence, and a sense of safety – especially during those more major periods of change and grief in our lives, and out in the world.

It includes a 10-minute meditation at the end. As always, I hope it will serve.

Just a few heads up!

1) I’m excited to let you know that I’ve been invited by my dear friend Weston Mathews to bring daylong retreats to the very spacious, beautiful St. Francis Episcopal Church in Great Falls, VA, where he is the new priest-in-charge. I will be hosting two of them next year! July 12 and Oct. 18 – Please save the dates – more information soon!

2) Registration is open for a new daylong retreat, “The Heart of Self-Compassion,” to be held on Mar. 8 in Berryville, VA.

3) The 5-day meditation retreat April 24-28, LOVING YOURSELF: Nurturing the Heart Practices at Peterkin in Romney, WV is now about 3/4 full!

4) The upcoming daylong retreat on Jan. 18, “Letting Go & Beginning Again,” in Berryville, VA is FULL for in-person registration, with a long waiting list, but online registration is still available!

In the meantime, I’m sending much metta (loving-kindness) and my hopes to see you in 2025!

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕

In Buddhist circles, there’s a very powerful yet simple phrase that serves as both a profound invitation to us, and also a reminder of what we’re all capable of.

This proposition is: Claim Your Seat.

This phrase is especially rich, since it points directly to the Buddha’s own enlightenment, where after many months of struggling with his own personal doubts – especially about his own potential for awakening – he finally reached down, touched the earth, and “claimed his seat.”

In other words, he finally affirmed his innate belonging – to the earth and all things – with the recognition that he didn’t need to ‘do’ anything to ‘prove’ that he was worthy. He simply saw clearly that he already was, just as we all are.

At the same time, he was also confirming his strong faith in himself, as well as his intrinsic ability to discern for himself which thoughts and actions would ultimately lead him towards happiness and away from suffering.

This is probably my favorite part of the story of the Buddha’s awakening, because it serves as a sage message for us: not only are we all innately worthy, and precious, but we’re also all entirely capable of conquering our own doubts, and discovering a deep faith in ourselves.

This month’s talk, “CLAIM YOUR SEAT: Buddha’s Teachings on Doubt,” explores how our experience of unhealthy doubt can create suffering in our lives, and how we can use our healthy doubt as the antidote, as a way to reveal what is true.

It includes a meditation at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve.

Also, a heads up!, and a request:

1) The next daylong retreat on NOV. 16, “Cooling the Flames of Anger,” in Berryville, VA, is almost full!

2) Our team is currently looking for a retreat/conference center/academy or school within about 2.5-hours of Winchester, VA that could accommodate between 50-80 people in single rooms for a silent retreat. It would require a quiet dining facility, and space for both group meditation and walking meditation. If you have any good leads, we would be so grateful if you could please let us know more!

In the meantime, I’m sending many kind wishes, and my hopes to see you soon!

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕

“There are two kinds of suffering. There is the suffering you run away from, which follows you everywhere. And there is the suffering you face directly, and so become free.”~ Ajahn Chah

The above quote is a well-known teaching from one of the main teachers of my teachers, and is considered a kind of summary of how we are being asked through our meditation practice to face our difficulties – which is face-on, and courageously.

But, if we’re really honest with ourselves, whenever we’re experiencing any kind of suffering (or dukkha in the Pali language) our common reaction to it is to believe – either consciously or unconsciously – that it is somehow wrong, or maybe that it just “shouldn’t be.”

In fact, we tend to believe that not only is the cause of our suffering itself is in some way wrong, but that our own response to it is also wrong. And therefore, we tend to surmise that we, ourselves, are also somehow wrong.

So, we tend to label all of it – our suffering, our response, and ourselves – wrong, wrong, and wrong.

Happily, the teachings are designed to help us not only notice this common pattern, but learn how we can bravely open up our own pain and suffering, and really get to know it – very intimately – so that we can become more wise, compassionate, and understanding, and eventually, become free of it.

For this month’s talk, “Some Things Just Hurt: Allowing Our Pain,” I’ll be exploring how we can better allow ourselves our own feelings through the lens of a half-a-dozen different teaching phrases, which I affectionately like to call “Buddha’s Sticky Notes.”

It includes a meditation at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve.

Also, a few important heads up!:

1) There are just 5 spots left! for our special weeklong meditation retreat SEPT. 26-OCT. 2 “5 Ways to Let Go: Releasing the Hindrances” at the beautiful Peterkin Retreat Center. I hope you can join us!

2) The next daylong retreat on NOV. 16, “Cooling the Flames of Anger,” in Berryville, VA, is open for registration, and has been filling quickly.

In the meantime, I’m sending many kind wishes, and my hopes to see you soon!

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕

This past year, after almost two years and two different cancer surgeries, one of the most important aspects of practice that I’ve found myself really needing to lean into has been the heart quality of aditthana, which in the Pali language of the Buddha means determination, or resolve.

As opposed to the act of “striving,” which involves a kind of unhealthy or stressful clinging to some sort of expectation, and typically arises from our more self-centered mind, or ego – the quality of aditthana almost always arises from the heart, as in, from our heart’s desire.

And because the heart is just naturally wise and compassionate, if we commit ourselves to following it, it will almost always lead us towards more joy, ease, and peace in our lives. 

As practitioners, we are asked to nurture this quality especially for starting, reviving, and even continuing a meditation practice, but the idea is that as we continue to develop it, we can then apply it to anything good or wholesome that we want to achieve for ourselves and for others. 

It’s such a vital quality in fact that the Buddha included it as part of ten crucial virtues of the heart – the paramis, or perfections – that we are urged to nurture and cultivate in order to reach enlightenment (or, if not enlightenment, at least more happiness and freedom in this lifetime.)

So, for this month’s talk, “Put Your Heart Into It Again: The Buddha on Determination,” I thought I’d explore this rich and powerful quality, and how we can use our meditation practice to not only establish it, but to more mindfully discern whether we’re been driven by our tricky minds, or by the much vaster space of our heart. 

It includes a meditation at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve. 

Also, a few important heads up!:

1) My team and I are thrilled to be headed back to the beautiful, serene Peterkin Retreat Center in Romney, WV this SEPT. 26-OCT. 2 for a new weeklong retreat, “5 Ways to Let Go: Releasing the Hindrances” – which fyi has been filling quickly!

Getting to know and investigate the five hindrances is one the most important and transformational aspects of our practice, and I’m so happy to be able to offer this to my students this year –I hope you can join us! 

2) The next daylong retreat on AUG. 17, “True to Your Heart,” in The Plains is already more than half-full, so … you might want to save your spot! 

In the meantime, I’m sending many kind wishes, and my hopes to see you soon! 

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕😊

I just recently arrived back home from a 5-day meditation retreat I was leading in Romney, WV, and I need to admit that I love our new retreat center, Peterkin, so much that I’m already really missing it. 

It was a truly wonderful retreat, and I honestly just wanted to stay for a little while longer!

During our last day there, I offered a longer q&a session, and one thread of inquiry that seemed to keep coming up was this:

When we perceive that some sort of harm is being done – either by another person, people, or even on a more national or even global level – how can we best confront this without nurturing aversion in our own hearts, or letting it consume us in some way?

Along with this was the question: how can we avoid taking on our aversion as a kind of identity – maybe as an angry or mean person, for example – when we experience that need within us to take a stand, or to say “no”, or maybe, “that’s enough.” 

And, how can we use our mindfulness practice to best discern when (and when not) to take a stand about something?

So, for this month’s talk, Do No Harm/Take No Sh*t: A Buddhist Lesson on Boundaries” I thought I’d expand on my answers a bit, and explore what the Buddha taught us about how we can use our meditation practice to help us to say “no” or “stop” without doing further harm to either ourselves or others, or allowing our aversion to shut down our hearts. 

It includes a brief meditation at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve. 

Also, a few important heads up!:

1) We’re so happy to be heading back to the beautiful, peaceful Bon Secours Retreat Center in MD July 6-10 for a 5-day retreat on The Four Foundations of Mindfulness, one of my favorite topics! FYI: This retreat is about 3/4 full and has been filling quickly, but there is still time to join us!

2) The June 8 meditation retreat is full, but there is still an online option available, and still room in the next retreat, “True to Your Heart” on Aug. 17!

In the meantime, I’m sending many kind wishes, and my hopes to see you soon! 

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕😊

Just recently, one of my new managers and I were having a follow-up talk about a retreat she just helped me with, and the question that naturally arose was: 

“How do we flow back and forth between occupying our role as either teacher, or safe space holder, and then back again into a sense of self that is more defined as ‘me.’?”

I really loved her question, because the answer truly applies to all of us.

It involves asking ourselves: “How can I flow between all the different roles, hats, or identities that I place on myself every day … and that kind, wise, compassionate presence within me that is actually ‘free’ of all of those often limiting identities, or beliefs about who I think I ‘should’ be?”

And if we think about it, this is really exactly what our practice is urging us to do: to start to identifying more and more with that part of us that is experiencing the whole of our life from a place of wisdom, compassion, and openness, rather than from some sense of identity, or from some label we’ve stamped on ourselves as “someone,” or “something” – which as we know is never really the same, or even accurate.

So, for this month’s talk, “What Would Buddha Do? Taking Refuge in the Beloved,” I thought I’d expand on my answer a bit, and dive into an exploration of how we might use our meditation practice to loosen our strong grip on all of our toxic “shoulds,” and uncover and find comfort in what is often called our Buddha Nature, or, the truth of who we really are. 

It includes a brief meditation at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve. 

Also, a special heads up!:

Spots have been filling quickly for the MAY 2-6 RETREAT “Keep Calmly Knowing Change,” – just three weeks from now! at the beautiful, peaceful Peterkin Conference Center in Romney, WV, our newest residential retreat venue.

I’m so excited to be back there! Please see some testimonials about this wonderful center, below! I hope you can join us. 

With joy and kind wishes, and my hopes to see you soon! 

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕😊

🙏🏽 A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine and I were talking, and after many hours of sharing a seemingly-never-ending lists of all the things we want and don’t want, all of our fears and regrets, we recognized that what we’re truly longing for is a sense of acceptance or ease with what actually IS … right now, in the present. 

In other words, a sense of contentment (or passaddhi, in the Pali language).

After we’d named this, my friend shared a quote she’d recently learned about from the artist Pablo Picasso, who apparently said, “It takes a long time to grow young.” 

This not only rang true to me, but immediately reminded me of a story about the Buddha’s enlightenment, which as the story goes happened very soon after he’d remembered what contentment had felt like to him, as a young child. 

In fact, this very memory is what suddenly made all the difference, and led him not only to enlightenment, but to the profound teachings of The Middle Way itself – the whole thing.

So, for this month’s talk, “It Takes A Long Time to Grow Young: Nurturing Contentment,” I thought I would explore how the Buddha was led to this understanding, along with some of his teachings on how we can train ourselves to experience even more of this precious quality in our lives. It includes a 10-minute meditation at the end. As always, I hope that it will serve. 

Also, just few heads up! 

1) In just 2 months from now, I’ll be offering a new 5-day retreat “Keep Calmly Knowing Change,” at the beautiful, peaceful Peterkin Conference Center in Romney, WV, our newest retreat venue – which was very well-received in October, and has been filling! The center is excited to have us back, and has hired a host of new kitchen and facilities staff to help grow and care for this wonderful center. We are so joyful to be a part of this!

2) I’ve finally honored my longtime promise to record the “Either Way, I Am & Really Will Be Okay” meditation – a 30-minute retreat favorite, designed to help us get in touch with the quality of equanimity (or upekkha, in the Pali language) which is considered the “fruit” of our practice. I hope it will serve!  

With joy and kind wishes, and my hopes to see you soon! 

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕😊

Traditionally, the holiday season is a time when we’re asked to remember and honor our intention to nurture a sense of peace within ourselves, our families, and our world. 

Yet as we all know, sometimes being with others can trigger the very opposite of this quality – especially when we feel in some way hurt, disrespected, or insulted.

According to the Buddha’s teachings, though,this is exactly the time when our practice can really help us hone our intention, especially as it involves our response – even if this is only in our own minds and hearts.

This is so important: because if our answer is even more aversion, unkindness, or maybe retaliation, we only need to look to history to know where this will lead – which is to more pain, harm, and division.

And of course, this is true whether we’re talking about political party vs. political party, nation vs. nation, citizen vs corporation, or individual vs. individual …

It all comes down to how we work with protecting our own hearts from hurt, aversion, and hatred – which in turn is going to protect others as well.

So, for this month’s talk, “It’s All Yours – Responding to Insult and Disrespect,” I thought I’d dive into the Buddha’s wise trainings in morality – or sila, in the Pali language – because they include precise instructions for exactly this.

As the teachings show us – over and over – even though it can be incredibly difficult, we never ever want to let another person’s disrespect, anger, or meanness harden our own hearts.

Instead, we want our practice to serve as a kind of guard for our hearts – a strong shield that can protect us against the power that other people’s unkind behavior can often have over us. 

It includes a meditation/inquiry at the end. 

As always, I hope it might serve.

Also, just few heads up! 

1) There’s only one week left to join us for the upcoming 8-week course on The Four Foundations of Mindfulness  JAN. 7 – FEB. 5, 2024 in Winchester, VA. This is my very favorite workshop! And it will be the last one I’ll be offering in 2024 – I really hope you might join us!

2) The next daylong retreat on Sat., Jan. 27, “Living From Your Deepest Intention“ is now more than half-full! Save your spot! 

With joy, and kind wishes for a blessed 2024! 

~ Shell 🙏🏽💕😊